Expert Parenting Advice
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Saved by candy and wine

Why being prepared and proactive in your parenting makes it much easier to get your kids to cooperate.

I was just scrolling through Facebook, when I saw an article about the Australian woman that recently got lost in the woods.

Her car got stuck in the mud, on a remote road in a dense forest, with no cell-phone reception.

All she had in her car was some candy she had packed for the trip, and a bottle of wine.

After searching for her for 5 days, the police finally found her, dehydrated but otherwise fine. Candy and wine had saved her life.

Three things came to my mind while reading this article:

Firstly, I can never tell my kids about this story, because then whenever I tell them "You cannot survive on just candy alone!", I'll hear "But what about the lady that survived for 5 days on only candy?"

Secondly, it reminded me again that I need to be more prepared and pack some emergency supplies in my car. I keep putting it off, because it never feels urgent (until it is too late). In case you are interested, the advice is to "store a pair of walking shoes, a waterproof jacket, essential medicines, snack food, water, a phone charger lead and a torch in your car".

Lastly, it made me think about how being prepared is so important in all aspects of life. Especially when dealing with kids.

When we interviewed Tia Slightham for our book How To Get Kids To Listen, she spoke about this concept of being proactive and prepared as a parent.

Tia is a parenting coach, teacher, and best-selling author. She runs the online coaching program The Parenting with Purpose Method.

In the interview, Tia spoke about why it becomes much easier to get our kids to cooperate if we are prepared, and proactively work to fill their needs for attention and power, before they start trying to fill those needs themselves (usually using negative behavior).

Trying to force our kids to cooperate, with yelling and timeouts and empty threats, often ends up backfiring, and we don’t really get the results we want. But when we start using tools, for example, like “Golden Time”, that I’m going to share with you, we start to see that we meet our children’s needs proactively. And that helps to encourage without force.

Tia Slightham

In the interview, Tia explains how to use a technique she calls Golden Time to proactively fill your children’s need for attention and power.

The best part of this technique is that it doesn't require you to do more. Instead, it is a way to use the time you already spend with your kids more effectively, by just ensuring you use each of the 5 ingredients for Golden Time she shares in the interview.