Expert Parenting Advice
Practical parenting tips and advice from experts around the world

Understanding the nature of your child

Why understanding and honoring your child's true nature can make getting them to cooperate much easier.

A while back, I had a fascinating discussion with a parenting coach called Jessie Buttons.

Jessie travelled the world for 10 years while working as a nanny. Doing this gave her a very unique perspective on how different cultures and countries raise their children.

She learned lots of parenting strategies from the diverse families she worked with - some good, and some not so good.

In addition, during her time as an international nanny, and also while working as the director of a Montessori preschool, she identified four main personalities that children can have - a concept she calls the "four natures".

In our interview, Jessie explained that by by understanding and honoring the specific nature of your child, you gain a deeper level of influence over their decisions, making it much easier to get them to cooperate and listen.

Jessie also explained how, if you don't understand your child's nature, you might inadvertently send them a message that you don't value their real nature. This can cause them to hide their true nature from you and others, leading to a lot of dysfunctional behavior.

Another important thing that Jessie shared is how often we parents can do things that "clash" with the nature of our child. The same behavior can affect different children in very different ways, depending on the nature of your child.

This is why you might sometimes find it easier to get along with one of your children while often clashing with the other.

However, when you understand the true nature of your child, and adjust how you behave based on this, it becomes easier to get along and get them to cooperate.